Praying with One Accord for the Spiritual Blessing of Our Children
Messages for the Perfecting of Parents — "Shepherding Children" Series
Message Five
In our family life, the most important content is to shepherd — but in what direction are we shepherding? Toward what direction are we trying to bring our children? According to the revelation of the Scripture, if our children are to grow up healthily in the Lord and become overcomers, they must — according to the revelation of the Scripture — have certain practices in their living. Yet all these practices in the living must be reached through your shepherding. Therefore, we must with one accord pray for the spiritual blessing of our children. The chief thing in our children's blessing is that they have a healthy spiritual living; and it depends also upon our guidelines for perfecting them. What, then, are the directions we must lay hold of in order to perfect them?
I. According to the Indications of Scripture, Practical Leading the Children Should Have
These are not our invention; they are what the Scripture has given us to see. What does the Scripture especially emphasize? It is that we ought to bring our children into the practice of a healthy spiritual living.
1. Fearing Jehovah — Acts 10:1–2, 22; Prov. 1:7
Acts 10:1 — Now there was in Caesarea a certain man named Cornelius, a centurion of what was called the Italian cohort, Acts 10:2 — Devout and one who feared God with all his household, giving many alms to the people and beseeching God continually. Acts 10:22 — And they said, Cornelius, a centurion, a righteous man and one who fears God and is well attested to by the whole nation of the Jews, was divinely instructed by a holy angel to send for you to come to his house and hear words from you. Prov. 1:7 — The fear of Jehovah is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Proverbs 1:7 says: "The fear of Jehovah is the beginning of knowledge." If you are a person who fears God, then in everything you will revere the Lord. First, you take Him as your source — in everything you love Him. Second, you fear to grieve His love — in everything you respect Him. Third, you fear to lose the Lord's blessing. If you are one who fears God, then you have knowledge. This knowledge is not the knowledge of physics, not the knowledge of chemistry, but the knowledge of salvation. Many people have the wisdom of physics and chemistry but not necessarily the wisdom of salvation. What we hope is that our children would have wisdom — what kind of wisdom? — the wisdom of salvation, the wisdom of knowing the Lord, the wisdom of overcoming.
2. Honoring and Obeying Their Parents — Prov. 4:1; 5:7; 7:24; 8:32; 15:5, 20; 20:20; 23:22–25; 1 Tim. 5:4; Eph. 6:1–3
Prov. 4:1 — Hear, my sons, the instruction of a father, And be attentive, that you may gain understanding; Prov. 5:7 — And now, my sons, listen to me, And do not depart from the words of my mouth. Prov. 7:24 — And now, my sons, listen to me, And pay attention to the words of my mouth. Prov. 8:32 — Now therefore, my sons, listen to me; For blessed are they who keep my ways. Prov. 15:5 — A fool despises his father's correction, But he who regards reproof gets prudence. Prov. 15:20 — A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish man despises his mother. Prov. 20:20 — Whoever curses his father or his mother, His lamp will go out in deep darkness. Prov. 23:22 — Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old. Prov. 23:23 — Buy truth, and do not sell it; Buy wisdom and instruction and understanding. Prov. 23:24 — The father of the righteous man will greatly exult, And he who begets a wise child will rejoice in him. Prov. 23:25 — Let your father and your mother rejoice, And let her who bore you exult. 1 Tim. 5:4 — But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show respect toward their own household and to render a return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God. Eph. 6:1 — Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Eph. 6:2 — "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with a promise, Eph. 6:3 — "That it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth."
This point is important: we need to bring the children to honor and obey their parents. The Scripture says in many places that God wants us to honor our parents — why? Because a blessed child is one who respects the source. God is our source — He is the source of life, the source of blessing, the source of supply, the source of creation and management; He is the source of all. If you respect the source, all blessing will come upon you. All of us sitting here can testify: if we take our God as the source of all blessing and all supply, if we take our God as the source of life, if we take our Lord as the source of love, the source of leading and management — then we are a healthy person, a person living under blessing.
But you must know — that God becomes our source through the means of our parents. God created us through our parents; God begot us through our parents; God nourished us through our parents; God taught us through our parents. Therefore, those who are children should have this practice: to honor and obey their parents. In this fallen generation there is a particular trait — that children rise up to resist their parents, that there are no parents in the children's eyes.
We are not preaching ethics or genealogy; but we need to know that parents are precisely the means by which God Himself is our source — and especially when those parents are righteous people, those who belong to God, we can the more become the means of the Lord's source-work. So we must help our children to honor their parents. From Ephesians 6:1–3 we see — we must help our children to obey their parents in the Lord, for this is the first commandment with a promise. In other words, if we keep this commandment, we will fare well — won't we? Of course; you will have more opportunity to be an overcomer, more opportunity to serve Him, more opportunity to enjoy Him.
3. An Unfeigned Faith Toward the Lord — 2 Tim. 1:3–5
2 Tim. 1:3 — I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers in a pure conscience, while unceasingly I have remembrance concerning you in my petitions night and day, 2 Tim. 1:4 — Longing to see you, remembering your tears, that I may be filled with joy; 2 Tim. 1:5 — Having been reminded of the unfeigned faith in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded dwells also in you.
We know that Timothy's mother and grandmother, in their home, were continually transfusing faith into the child — with the Lord's word and an inward grasp of the Spirit, little by little they transfused into Timothy. So when Paul met Timothy he discovered that something existed in this young man — and that something was called "unfeigned faith." "Unfeigned faith" is faith without falsehood, faith without conditions. The faith of many people inevitably has some condition: "Lord, I believe in You — and so You must heal my disease." Or "Lord, I believe in You — and so You must let me get rich." Or else: "Because I came to the meeting, Lord, You owe me face — my exam scores aren't very good. Please answer." Some come to the meetings and pray secretly: "Lord, I came to the meeting; do not forget that I have already given You my time and energy; You also owe me the blessing that should be mine." That kind of faith carries some condition — but our faith toward the Lord ought to be without condition. The Lord is unconditionally bountiful toward us, but that is not a condition for us toward the Lord. We ought to love Him without any condition.
Brothers and sisters, when you buy clothes for your children, are there conditions? Is the rule: if the child is a little more obedient, you buy two pieces; if a little less, you buy half a piece? Is that what we do? The supply our Lord gives us is bountiful — but no child should ever take this as the condition: "If we don't love Him, He won't give us clothes; if I don't believe Him, He won't give me food." No such father, no such parent. We ought to have unfeigned faith: only love Him, only believe Him, only love Him; believing that all things are in His hand, all things are out of His sovereignty, and all are within His love. I have been determined the appointed times and the boundaries of my dwelling, with one purpose only: that I might grope for and find Him, and so come to know God.
4. Knowing the Sacred Writings from a Babe — 2 Tim. 3:15–16; Deut. 6:4–9
2 Tim. 3:15 — And that from a babe you have known the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise unto salvation through the faith which is in Christ Jesus. 2 Tim. 3:16 — All Scripture is God-breathed and profitable for teaching, for conviction, for correction, for instruction in righteousness,
Deut. 6:4 — Hear, O Israel, Jehovah is our God; Jehovah is one. Deut. 6:5 — And you shall love Jehovah your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. Deut. 6:6 — And these words, which I command you today, shall be upon your heart; Deut. 6:7 — And you shall repeat them to your children, and speak about them when you sit in your house and when you journey on the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up; Deut. 6:8 — And you shall bind them on your hand as a sign, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes; Deut. 6:9 — And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
We also long for our children to know the Scripture from a young age — but here it says that Timothy from a babe knew the Scripture. This was Paul's confidence; this was Timothy's testimony — that from infancy he had a recognition of the truth, and a recognition of God and His economy. Are you envious or not? Brother, is your child a Timothy? You may say: "Of course! My child is even more of a Timothy than Timothy. Timothy was a man of two thousand years ago — my child is a man of the present-day Lord's Recovery." Believe — children from infancy are able to know the Scripture.
A sister just mentioned that you must not give a great deal of explanation to an infant; speak short sentences. From morning to night, just speak one sentence — "Lord Jesus, love, light, holy, righteous" — pick him up and say it; that is enough. You do not need to tell him: "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth; and the earth became waste and emptiness, and darkness was on the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was brooding upon the surface of the waters." When he hears that, he too becomes waste and emptiness, the surface of his deep covered with darkness. Of course, since he has the Lord, he will not be left in such emptiness.
But when you tell stories, truly keep them simple — keep to the point — do not go into too much detail. For example, when you speak of the Passover lamb being killed, do not lecture on how to take out the head, the legs, the inner organs, what may be eaten and what may not be eaten. Look — wait until he is twenty years old to teach him that. For now, just "the lamb was killed; the blood was taken" — and the story is finished. You'll say, "Isn't that telling the story too quickly?" But there are still many parts: "The blood was used to mark the doorposts. What for? When the angel of death passed over and saw this blood, he passed over them. So inside the house, those who were there were not afraid; on the contrary, they joyfully ate the lamb." Each of these stories should have one point at its center — let the Lord give us inspiration and light, but be careful that the inspiration does not fly away from the Scripture. We must transfuse the Scripture itself. These practices are not a question of right or wrong; I am only offering them for your reference.
5. Joyfully Keeping the Feasts — Loving the Meetings — Deut. 16:11, 14; Luke 2:42–43, 49
Deut. 16:11 — And you and your son and daughter, and your male servant and female servant, and the Levite who is within your gates and the sojourner and the orphan and the widow who are in your midst shall rejoice before Jehovah your God in the place where Jehovah your God will choose to cause His name to dwell. Deut. 16:14 — And you and your son and daughter, and your male servant and female servant, and the Levite and the sojourner and the orphan and the widow who are within your gates shall rejoice in your feast. Luke 2:42 — And when He became twelve years old, they went up according to the custom of the feast. Luke 2:43 — And when they had completed the days, while they were returning, the boy Jesus remained behind in Jerusalem, and His parents did not know it. Luke 2:49 — And He said to them, Why is it that you were seeking Me? Did you not know that I must be in the things of My Father?
In Deuteronomy 16, we see that the children were to go up with the adults to keep the feasts; they were to love the meetings. From a little age they were to know — what is this? — This is the Passover. He asks again, "What is this?" — "This is the Feast of Tabernacles." It is not just three or four words; you must go on: "Speak of how Jehovah God brought us out from Egypt, the slave-house, by His mighty hand and outstretched arm." Within the story you must, little by little, open it up to them — and at the end, you must make them love to keep the feasts. In the Old Testament, every child was practiced in joyfully keeping the feasts together with the adults. In the New Testament, Joseph and Mary were the same — from the early days of the child, they brought Him up to the temple to keep the feast together.
6. Praising and Giving Thanks — Through Singing, Testifying, and Prophesying — Psa. 8:2; Matt. 21:15–16
Psa. 8:2 — Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings You have established strength Because of Your adversaries, To stop the enemy and the avenger. Matt. 21:15 — But when the chief priests and the scribes saw the wonders that He did and the children who were crying out in the temple and saying, Hosanna to the Son of David, they were indignant. Matt. 21:16 — And they said to Him, Do You hear what these are saying? And Jesus said to them, Yes. Have you never read, "Out of the mouth of infants and sucklings You have perfected praise"?
Psalm 8:2 says: "Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings You have established strength." In Matthew 21, there was a band of children in the temple, and when they saw the wonders the Lord Jesus did, they cried out: "Hosanna to the Son of David! Hosanna in the highest!" This is the trait of the small children. We must help them learn to praise, to cry out — not only to grumble — grumble at heaven, grumble at earth, grumble at men, grumble at God. The trait of the children is that they can praise.
If, in a bread-breaking meeting, only the responsible brothers and the older brothers and sisters are praising, the Lord says, "I am not satisfied." But suddenly a newly saved one praises a sentence or two — though it isn't seasoned, though it isn't refined — the Lord says, "I am satisfied," because the praise is now made complete. The older one praises, but the Lord says it is not yet complete; only when the newly saved one offers up his praise does the Lord feel that the praise is now made complete in Him. How lovely the praise of so many of the children!
In this regard, we know we are descendants of Adam, and our children are like us. We are descendants of those who grumble against heaven and against men, and our children are descendants of those who grumble against heaven and against men. So our children also have learned a habit: at the slightest provocation they say "the heaven's not right, the earth's not right, this is wrong, that is wrong." Please remember, when you find your child in such a state — first, "Quickly repent" — for almost always the children's grumbling east and west is something we as parents have planted in front of them, unaware. Second, "Help the children to learn to give thanks and to praise." Sometimes we should constantly bring it up before them: "The Lord Jesus dwells in you — won't you thank Him? The Lord Jesus gave you an immune system, isn't that wonderful? The Lord Jesus is in heaven interceding for you, that you may become an overcomer — won't you, won't you give thanks? Our Lord created the universe; we will praise Him. Each time we go on an outing, what splendid scenery — won't you praise the Lord?" Let the child learn — in all things, in Him, in the church, in the family life — to give thanks, to praise.
This is what the Lord delights in. We who are parents are the same — if our children say to others, "My daddy is so wonderful — are you joyful?" "My daddy loves the Lord most; my daddy often tells me stories," — wouldn't you be glad? In fact, you have not preached many times — but he has already praised you, and so afterwards you would speak even more. Our Lord is the same: whoever praises receives all the blessing; whoever holds back receives a little less blessing. Yet the blessing remains very much, for our God is not so calculating.
1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 says, "Always rejoice; unceasingly pray; in everything give thanks." We must learn to give thanks — to give thanks for the heavens, to give thanks for the earth, to give thanks for water, to give thanks for the air, to give thanks for the Spirit, to give thanks for the Lord's redemption, to give thanks for the Lord's indwelling, to give thanks for the Lord's transformation, to give thanks for the Lord's presence. We must also constantly help the child learn to praise; this point is important, otherwise our children will be habitually grumbling. Once one has believed in the Lord, a layer of grumbling is added — before, he only said "daddy and mommy treat me badly"; now he also says, "the Lord Jesus treats me badly." Indeed I have seen some saints who, the more they love the Lord, the more grumbling they have — having discovered that their disposition is not good, they grumble that the Lord did not treat them well, that the Lord put them in this kind of family, made them up to bear this kind of bad disposition. "Why am I so bad? — Because the Lord put me in such a quarrelsome family. Why am I so unfeeling? — Because the Lord put me under such an unfeeling daddy."
Brothers and sisters, the Scripture clearly says God foreordained the appointed times of your dwelling and the boundaries of your habitation, that you might seek God, or grope for Him and find Him; in fact He is not far from each one of us. Whatever your former family situation, you must know that all this background was for the preparing of your heart, the preparing of your spirit, the preparing of your whole person — that you might come to seek God. If you have already sought God, then you must give thanks for all the environments, not grumble. You ought to recognize, you ought to know — if there had been no such home, you would not have sought God; if there had been no such parents, you would not have sought God; if there had been no such setbacks, you would not have sought God; if there had been no such environments, you would not have sought God. God loves you — to such a degree that He prepares for you everything, that your heart might seek Him, or that you might have opportunity to grope. Could it be that this is the love of God? In the end the very groping leads to finding Him. Brothers and sisters — once you are saved, you should know to wipe the slate clean.
If your home was on the positive side, it makes you receive God as your inheritance. If your home was on the negative side, you must also know that the Lord still prepared your parents for you, gave you a correct view of life, gave you a correct environment, prepared everything for you — so that one day, when you came to seek God, should you not still be thankful? You may say, "I really don't feel thankful; this broken disposition I inherited is from my parents." But it is because of this broken disposition that you can be saved; if your disposition were too good, sometimes it really is hard to be saved. We such persons, with these failures behind us, needed this kind of disposition — only thus could we possibly bow our heads, only thus could we afterward come to enjoyment. The Lord will gradually transform you. Yet whether the disposition is good or bad, in His eyes the gap is not great. To be sure, there is some difference. For example, one born into a family of sheer hatred and violence, when he grows up and is saved, will face one more layer of difficulty in transformation, because just to renew and replace the feeling of hatred within him is for him almost like having a layer of skin peeled off. Then comes the further work of cultivating in him the divine love — and this process truly is no small matter. But please remember: whether good disposition or bad, in God's eyes both equally need transformation, both equally need grace, both equally need to become a God-man. In other words, whether our natural disposition is good or bad, we all equally need to receive God's life and the holy nature, that we may be constituted by God.
7. Salvation and Baptism — Acts 16:31–34
Acts 16:31 — And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus, and you shall be saved, you and your household. Acts 16:32 — And they spoke the word of God to him together with all those in his house. Acts 16:33 — And he took them with him in that very hour of the night and washed their wounds. And he was baptized immediately, he and all his household. Acts 16:34 — And he brought them up into his house and set a table before them; and he exulted because he had believed in God with all his household.
We must help our children to be saved and baptized. In our home there is no freedom of religion — if there were freedom of religion, that would be unthinkable. We have no freedom of religion — our children have only Christ. So no matter whether we cry, whether we pray, whether we exert all our strength, we must let our children be saved and baptized.
8. Offering Up the Children for God's Will — 1 Sam. 1:11; Heb. 11:24–27
1 Sam. 1:11 — And she made a vow and said, O Jehovah of hosts, if You will indeed look upon the affliction of Your female servant and remember me and not forget Your female servant, but give to Your female servant a male child, then I will give him to Jehovah for all the days of his life, and no razor will come upon his head. Heb. 11:24 — By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter, Heb. 11:25 — Choosing rather to be ill treated with the people of God than to have the temporary enjoyment of sin, Heb. 11:26 — Considering the reproach of the Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he looked away to the reward. Heb. 11:27 — By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king, for he persevered as one seeing the unseen One.
In 1 Samuel 1, Hannah prayed: "O God, look upon me — give me a child, and I will give him to Jehovah all the days of his life." God answered Hannah's prayer and gave Samuel to her. Samuel was not long at Hannah's side — once he was weaned, he was sent to the temple. Each year, according to the size of the little Samuel, Hannah would make him a small ephod, a small priestly robe. Although the child was not at her side from such an early age, Hannah came every year to see him; and I believe she received eternal rest in this.
Hebrews 11:24–27 shows us — when Moses had grown up, he refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter. Why? Because he had already received his mother's nourishing and her transfusion, and offered up himself only for the people of Israel, only for the chosen of God.
9. Pray in Everything — In Everything Magnify the Lord — Phil. 4:6–7
Phil. 4:6 — In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; Phil. 4:7 — And the peace of God, which surpasses every man's understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6 says: "In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God." When the child gets a bad scratch — never mind, pray to the Lord. When he can't clear the high jump — pray to the Lord. For an exam — pray to the Lord. But do not pray: "Lord Jesus, I haven't studied at all; please let me score one hundred. Lord, I have a pencil with the numbers one to six on it — give me the answer with one roll of it." That will not do. Instead, practice praying like this: "Lord, in my exam, be with me. Where I have studied diligently, do not let me be careless; lend me Your attentive heart." To be sure, we do need gradually to bring them into the realm of God's holy mystery — but it cannot be denied that however a child prays, the Lord is pleased. Paul says: as long as we entrust all things to the Lord, the Lord is pleased — for if we entrust everything to Him, we are magnifying the Lord in everything.
10. Exercise of the Conscience — 2 Tim. 1:3
2 Tim. 1:3 — I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers in a pure conscience, while unceasingly I have remembrance concerning you in my petitions night and day,
2 Timothy 1:3 shows us that in Timothy there was unfeigned faith, and there was also a pure conscience. We long for our children to be exercised so as to have a correct conscience, because faith needs the conscience as its foundation. If the conscience has a hole in it, our faith is like a ship that has been holed: not only is sailing made difficult, but the ship may even sink.
11. Studying Diligently as Doing One's Part — Acts 7:22; 22:3
Acts 7:22 — And Moses was educated in all the wisdom of the Egyptians, and he was powerful in his words and works. Acts 22:3 — I am a Jew, born in Tarsus of Cilicia but brought up in this city and trained at the feet of Gamaliel, according to the strictness of the law of our fathers, being zealous for God, even as you all are today.
According to Moses' youth and Paul's young manhood, we see they were both patterns of studying earnestly. In their generations, in their societies, they were persons of earnestness; they did the part they ought to do. And so when, one day, God opened to them the truth of the universe, they were able to enter in with reverence. A child who does not do his part can never come into the understanding of Scripture.
The eleven points above are all according to the indications of Scripture, the practical leading the children should have. We hope that brothers and sisters will, point by point, take their children through these practices. And, while leading the children into each point of practice, open it up to them, shepherd them according to the Lord's word. For example: if you want the child to keep the feasts together with you, to attend the meetings, you must show him that from the very Exodus of God's people in the Old Testament, God's people were a feast-keeping, meeting-attending people. When they had eaten the lamb and applied the blood, what came next? They came out and gathered together, and the church began. So "the church" is not merely a New Testament term — even in the Old Testament there were those who were called out to gather, the people of Israel, a people of meetings. And our meetings are for letting us enjoy God, and for letting God enjoy us.
II. The Guidelines for Perfecting Our Children
In order to reach our goal — that is, our vision for perfecting our children: that Christ is the children's unique inheritance, God's economy is the children's highest career, the New Jerusalem is the children's ultimate goal, and the firstfruits is the children's most honorable reward — we need to perfect our children according to the Scripture. This is our vision for perfecting them. We are not trying to leave our children ten houses, nor several million dollars. What shall we leave them as their inheritance? — Christ. If you want to give him a substantial inheritance, give him a set of the Life-Studies; buy him several copies of the Recovery Version; let him also save up a little of his own money, pay a little price, and buy spiritual books and publications. This is the only inheritance we can leave our children that will reach into eternity. More importantly, we hope through these books and publications to transfuse Christ into them.
Brothers and sisters, every Christ that you have shepherded into them is to become their eternal inheritance. We have nothing to leave them but Christ. Next, we hope our children will from a young age have a career — not as company chairman, not as president, but a career with a part in the unlimited corporation of the divine economy — that is, God's economy. If we take this as our goal, then to perfect our children according to the Scripture there are several aspects of guideline:
1. Cultivating an Aspiration — by the Pattern of the Persons in Scripture, Stirring Up an Aspiration to Love the Lord, to Love the Church, and to Serve the Lord
The trait of the Scripture is wonderful — it uses the stories of persons as the outer structure of the Bible. What does the whole Scripture speak of? — Frankly, the doctrinal expressions are not many; the great majority is the patterns of persons. The aim is what? — Because the nourishment of patterns is the most supplying nourishment. We need the truth; but the truth made real in patterns is even more precious. So when you read of Abraham, you aspire to be one who enjoys Christ; when you read of Jacob, you are willing to be transformed; when you read of Moses, you are willing to be one who has a sense of mission; when you read of Paul, you aspire to be one who loves the church, who bears up the Scripture, who bears up the church — also a good steward of God's economy. So every time we read of a person, we receive some warning, and at the same time we have aspiration.
Beyond this, do not give the children too many stories of national heroes — like Guan Gong. Do you really long for your child to become a Guan Gong? No more such national-hero stories — because they have no Christ. If we are to give the children national heroes, let them be the national heroes of the kingdom of the heavens; bring before them the footprints of the believers down through the ages, the patterns of the men of God down the generations — nourish them into the children — that the children may see how they loved God, how they enjoyed God, how they treasured God, how they had a part with God, and how they worked together with God. This is the first guideline of our perfecting of the children. This cultivates within them the aspiration to love the Lord and to serve the Lord.
2. The Building Up of Disposition and Character — Producing the Steady Humanity Typified by the Acacia Wood, Prepared to Express God
1 Timothy is a book about disposition. Even though Timothy was already a young apostle, Paul still helped him in many sides of exercise concerning his disposition. The Gospel of Mark says of the Lord Jesus that He is the Slave-Savior; and as a slave, the most important thing is disposition. So in the Gospel of Mark you can see the beautiful disposition of the Lord. At the very least, on a single page of Mark you can see the disposition of the Lord Jesus — forty-two times Mark says of our Lord Jesus, "immediately," "at once," "right away," "straightway." Our Lord Jesus is one whose heart is turned to the Lord in everything — He never delays, never drags His feet — this is the disposition of our Lord; He is the Slave-Savior who came at the call, who arrived at the request, who helped at the demand. We must let our children, from a young age, be cultivated into this kind of disposition.
When the children practice their disposition, they become little God-men, vessels useful to the Lord — possessing the steady humanity typified by the acacia wood that signifies Christ. With a healthy humanity, with a steady humanity, they can shine forth God. From Moses you can also see the good disposition: he was not only filled with love for God's people; he was also a man of economy, skilled in administration; a diligent man — and one who, facing any matter, runs to God. All of this also was his disposition.
3. The Knowledge of the Lord Jesus and of His Redemption and Salvation
Timothy from a babe knew the Scripture. What does the Scripture speak of? — the Lord Jesus; it speaks of His judicial redemption and His organic salvation. We must help the children to gain a recognition of these things too. This is most important — not the teaching of an outward Confucian-Mencian morality, but the transfusion of our Lord into the children.
4. The Basic Spiritual Practices — Calling, Pray-Reading, Praying in Everything, Memorizing Scripture, Singing, Prophesying, and Testifying
In the Scripture there are many who called on the Lord's name; I am sure that a great many of them began calling from their youth. Isaac called on God from his youth; Samuel called on God from his youth; David called on God from his youth. As for David, I am rock-firm in my belief that he too called on God from his youth — for otherwise he would never have fought with a lion. He did not depend on himself; on the one hand he said: "I am a man of faith, and so when at times the lion came, the bear came, to carry off one of the flock, I went up and seized it by its beard and struck it dead." But on the other hand, he immediately added: "Even as Jehovah delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine."
David, from a young age, was also one who sang. He sang to such a degree that authority came forth in his song; so whoever was tormented by an evil spirit went to David to have him sing — and David would strum a little on the harp and sing a hymn — and the evil spirit ran. Don't you want your child to drive out evil spirits? — Of course you do! Children are sometimes afraid of evil spirits; sometimes they get jumpy with imagination. What do we do? — Sing. We must practice praising.
Every kind of spiritual practice ought to be carried out. I really love it when the children prophesy and testify — it is wonderful! You hear it, and you are moved. The grown-ups' testimonies — pardon me — sometimes we forget; but the little ones' testimonies are far harder to forget. To be sure, we may have a partiality, but the prophesying of the children we will not forget into eternity. We must encourage them — never deflate them.
5. The Cultivation of the Understanding (Intelligence) — Recognizing the New Creation from God's Creation; Developing the Fellowship of the Universal New Man through the Cultivation of Language
Beyond the four points of spiritual content above, our fifth point of perfecting our children concerns the matter of equipping. We ought to encourage the children to study earnestly, to seek learning, to look at the ancient and to ask of the ancient — to recognize, from the universe, the eternal power and divine characteristics of God. We must help the children to recognize the mysteries of nature, to praise the beauty of nature, to delight in God's creation. The books our children read most concern God's creation — let our children, from the creation, recognize God.
Beyond this, today is "the age of the Body"; so today, if you would build up, you must live in the fellowship of the universal new man. For entering into the fellowship of the universal new man, we need the cultivation of language — in the children we must cultivate an interest in language. Basically, a person who loves the Lord, besides knowing his own native language, also needs to be equipped with the languages used widely in the world, so that they can have real fellowship. I do not give my children many private tutorials, but from their childhood I have been sending them to the best English classes.
So I also thank the Lord — at least my children have me to listen to, and their pronunciation is not bad — now my son's prophesying in English is not so difficult any more. As for my daughter — I too have been encouraged. One day she said, "Daddy, Mommy, come and pray with me." Why pray with her? — Because for her, anything important must always be prayed over with us. Then she said, "Tomorrow I'm going to compete in an English speech contest." I said, "Wonderful." Because she was not only joining an English speech competition — she was speaking in English — and that is no small matter. To be sure, that time she did not place; she felt a little disappointed; but I told her: "Daddy is already very happy." My listening to a speech in English is no small thing — it really is a piece of preparation: I had to look up the translation, write down phrases like "Brother Lee" — "I'm not going to read it any more," — but you do believe me. When the child does the slightest bit better, if we offer one slight glance of dismissal, one further sarcastic word, the heartbroken child's best response is: "I won't bother any more, because no matter what I do, you sneer; no matter what I do, you suspect I have ulterior motive; no matter what I do, I cannot win your trust. The only way left to me is not to need your trust." You see — am I not right? Of course these examples are sharply put, but at times we cannot avoid such situations.
May the Lord pardon me — I am not boasting of our children. I just hope that our next generation can at least live in the fellowship of the universal new man, can have flowing fellowship with the saints from every nation, without too much sign-language. Sign-language too is not easy — we still need language. So at the very least, the cultivation of language interest is for the developing of the fellowship of the universal new man.
III. All the Perfecting Is with Christ as the Center, with the Body as the Course, with the New Jerusalem as the Goal — and All Is Accomplished by the Spirit Who Gives Life
1. With Christ as the Center — Christ Is the Head, Christ Is the Answer; the Heart Magnifies the Lord, the Pupil Has the Lord as Its Joy; the Secret Is in Turning to the Lord in Everything
All things must take Christ as the center — this point is most important. Yesterday was the day our great son went up to Chenggong Ling (the basic-training camp) — the family had two days together for love-feasts and morning revival, and I taught him how to enjoy Christ in the army. We also reminded him of many things — to write his name on his clothes, for if you lose a single piece of clothing on Chenggong Ling, all your clothes get taken away by others, since they all look the same; everyone simply grabs whatever there is. My sister-wife reminded him repeatedly: don't get your clothes stolen, because if your clothes are stolen by someone else, you have to find clothes to wear yourself. So we must still shepherd him — not frighten him, as if at the camp on all four sides there were thieves; that won't do. Our goal is only one: Christ as the center; bring him to turn to the Lord.
2. With the Body as the Course — Children Must Have a Body Living, a Group Living, Companions, and a Living That Cares for Others
We who are parents do not only shepherd our children; we also commit our children to the church. The children must necessarily enlarge into the fellowship of the Body. The children must have their group living, their Body living, their companions, their living of caring for others, their gospel living, their living of coordinating with other men. Our goal is to bring our children into the Body. So once our children reach a certain age, we must release them with confidence to the brothers' and sisters' houses, to enlarge the fellowship of the Body.
3. With the New Jerusalem as the Goal — Storing Up Eternal Life for Our Children
All that we do today is for eternity. We must help our children store up life for eternity, store up eternal life. Help him to give a little of his own substance, that he may store up eternal life. Help him have a little of prayer, that he may store up eternal life. Help him shepherd a small group, that he may store up eternal life. Help him bring one person to salvation, that he may store up eternal life. Help him function fully in the group, that he may store up eternal life.
4. All Accomplished by the Spirit Who Gives Life — A Child Cannot Enter through Doctrine; He Must Enter through the Spirit; with Pray-Reading, Calling Out, and Earnest Prayer
Perhaps as we look at this we already feel that something has been lacking; of course we should not now grumble about the past. From the angle of history, the children's meetings before were too much entry by doctrine — we did not give the children enough opportunity to release their spirit, to exercise their function, to express their Christ, to speak their questions, to bring people to be saved, and to serve in the small group. We hardly gave them this opportunity; mostly, in the children's meetings, what was done was suppressing the counter-revolution — don't do this, don't do that. Thank the Lord — today we will lead the children to enter through the spirit; not merely entry by doctrine, not merely listening — but having him function within it, and with the function of his spirit having expectation, full of approval.
Brothers and sisters, with regard to the children, we have many things to consider: for example, we usually give our children prizes — when? — when they take first place. But — when one of the little friends gets saved, you don't necessarily give him a prize; when he prophesies on the Lord's Day, you don't necessarily give him a prize. To be sure, you may say, "The Lord Jesus has already stored up eternal prizes for him." But by the way you award prizes, the children come to know what you treasure; we know what we treasure. If we are willing to help our children enter through the spirit, then even the matter of giving prizes will not be the same.
We do encourage rewarding the children, for children grow up healthy and steady through being valued. But what we need to consider is this: how shall we let the children know what is most highly valued by their father and mother? Where is that? — That is where we must strengthen their spirit, and all the practices and services that have to do with the spirit.
IV. Appendix — Spiritual Q&A
Question 1: How may we lead a child into an interest in the things of the Spirit?
Answer. Do you yourself like to read the Bible? — Yes? Then there is much hope. Perhaps what you need is, at the dining table, casually share a little of your impressions from your reading of the Word. Do not be afraid that he will not understand. We frequently have a fear: "Maybe my reading of Scripture is too hard for the child to follow." In fact, the child's understanding is keener than ours grown-ups'; his comprehension is no less than ours. But still — the child is the child; he is passive. This is the trait of the child; so he needs someone to kindle him. We should not say, "Children, let us read the Scripture now." Rather, several times, you yourself open the savor of the Lord's word — open it up, open it up. Whatever you feel is savorful, the child will most likely feel is savorful.
That said, the children at the junior-high or senior-high stage, after listening to your reading, sometimes think one thing on the inside and say something different on the outside. On one hand they admire you; on the other hand they say, "Eh! What's so great about that — eh, that wasn't read very well either." All the same, do not get angry. The true intent of the children — right up to college — is figuring out how to provoke their parents, especially how to provoke their mother. (For Daddy can hardly be provoked; the child gets a sentence or two in, and Daddy's authority comes down.) We very easily get tripped up by what the child outwardly displays. But in fact, the child is most sensitive. As long as you have the savor in your own spirit, he will absorb it from your sharing.
I know there are many fine details — for example, today he is very glad, but maybe tomorrow you ask him to read again, and he says he doesn't want to. The child is ten-thousand-times-changing; this is not something resolved in a day. But in the midst of the child's ten-thousand changes, faith and treasuring are most important. From the Scripture and from our own experience, I have come to feel — and to firmly believe — the children are very willing to listen to their parents' words. They long, in the deepest part of themselves, to receive their parents' valuing and respect; the more they sense it, the more they will display what brings forth your valuing and your respect. The more you look down on them, the more they show negative things in front of you — this is one trick of every child, or perhaps a common ailment.
So, the very same matter, the very same hope, when expressed by a serving brother or by Mommy, comes out very differently. Do we parents not have such a long time invested? — and do we still come out short? The serving brothers are not married; they are very young — how much exercise have they had? Why do the children listen to him? Why don't they listen to you? Truly outrageous! The louder you get, the more the child decides whose voice to ignore. Look — am I right? You may say: "Can I never raise my voice?" — That is not the question. The question is not louder or quieter. We are bound to be in the flesh sometimes. The important thing is "how much do we treasure our children?" The children always know.
The children's not doing what we hope for them is usually not from spite — very rarely are they unwilling. They are simply trying to "rebel" so that we will see. Why do they rebel? — Because they sense they are not respected in their father's eyes. Sometimes parents inadvertently love the older child more than the second, or treasure the third more than the first. They keep saying in front of others, "This third one of ours is so wonderful." But you must know — the older one's ears and the second one's ears are sharp; everything goes in. Then in his bedroom, unhappy, he begins to plot. Truly! He's planning how to behave so we will see his reaction. His reaction is that we should know, that he too has a reaction. Yet what we usually do is hit him again with the rod, because in our hearts we think, "How dare he react like this to me!" So a vicious cycle, until at last it cannot be undone.
Recently I heard that a parent-and-child gathering for the youth blending had been held. I looked at the topics — and I was very interested. I asked the serving sisters, "What is your burden?" — "Parent and child!" — "Good — and how did you carry it out?" In the beginning they were a bit sheepish: "We played too much." My point is not the playing — playing's fine; we were there to play. But what is the point of the playing? — I told them: the burden of this gathering is parent-and-child blending — that is, the hope that the children and the parents would blend nicely with one another. Three hundred and sixty-five days a year — three hundred and sixty-three of them, parents and children are not blended; we ought at least to blend two days. You want to blend — but in the three days and two nights, you only have two large gatherings, one of which is to blend with the youth of the church in Yilan. Now, blending with the Yilan church's youth is not in itself bad — that's actually wonderful! But it has not much to do with your burden. So you have left only one campfire night for parent-child blending. I told them: this is not bad either — but campfires are not good for opening up information or discussion; they are best as one large display. If, in the campfire night, parent and child, family by family, would rise up to give testimony, or to talk about their families, or together to recite the slogans of the new spring word-conference — how sweet that would be! Or have the children rise and display — describing how lovable the parents are, how the parents have brought them to the Lord; and let the parents in turn describe how lovable their children are in the Lord — how good!
The next morning before everyone goes off to East Mountain River — first let them send the children aside and negotiate with the parents. On one side, give a little truth-opening; on the other side, make a three-point pact: for the next two days, no daddy or mommy is to scold the child. Out of three hundred and sixty-five days, can we not have two days when the children are not made into nothing? Otherwise three hundred and sixty-five days a year they're treated as nobody — do you suppose they're going to come out fine? Three articles of pact: it is not allowed to scold; not allowed to do this; not allowed to do that! — better not to scold at all. Anything you must scold for, hand it over to the serving brothers and the senior college students — all of you parents may not scold. I am not just talking; I am trying to rescue every household.
Then I asked: Is there boating at East Mountain River? If there is, let it be by family-units — paddle your own. Children and dads should not be split up; otherwise it would be a separated-seating meeting, not a parent-and-child meeting. So just paddle as a family. Then on the boat, give them one little task: together sing, "God has regenerated us, that we may have His divine life..." You must understand — when parent and child sing together, those who weren't laughing now laugh; those who weren't joyful are now joyful. How wonderful — together as a family, sing the hymns! You really do need to make some blending. Don't simply say, "Let's go to a sports park" — that won't do; you can't very well say parents and kids should exercise together, because Daddy's old bones can't take it; and the kids will say impatiently, "I'm already up in heaven; how is it you're still on earth?" So at the sports park, let them go their separate ways.
In the car, plan an activity: have every Daddy and Mommy rise up to give a testimony. The topic is "Speak forth the new-creation beauty of your child" — let the children, in their lifetime, hear one word of praise from you. For we parents have never let our children feel that, in our parental eyes, they are God-men. We do not encourage saints to praise others directly in the meeting of the church — but I do encourage parents to praise directly in front of the child. For the relationship between you has frozen three feet thick, and to thaw it you need spirit — earnestly speak forth your child's traits, one by one. I imagine that by the time you have finished, the child's tears will be falling. Then ask all the children to speak of their parents' new-creation beauty — and the parents' tears too will fall. After the campfire, let each family decide together — and I have seen some families, on the spot, holding one another to pray, to adjust, to confess, to repent, to rebuild this household. Don't you think such a parent-and-child gathering would be lovely?
Why design it like this? — Because between us and our children, there is far too little Christ. Too much managing, too much severity, too much belittling. Sometimes the child does not study well; but by the time we are at last willing to remind him, Mommy walks up to him and says, "Aiyo! Now you finally know to read?!" Your tone — and the child slams the book shut and says, "I'm done reading." You believe me? When the child does ever-so-slightly better, all we offer is one slight glance of dismissal, then one further sarcastic word — and the child's broken-heart way out is: "I won't bother any more, because no matter what I do, you sneer; no matter what I do, you suspect I have ulterior motive; no matter what I do, I cannot win your trust. The only way left to me is not to need your trust." You see — am I not right? Of course these examples are sharply put; but at times we cannot avoid such situations.
In handling my two children, I have learned several principles all the way through; one of them is "fairness." I rarely say, "You are the older one — older brother must yield to little sister." I have found that this is not really the way. Sometimes the older brother is unhappy: "Why am I always the one to give way? Who ever yields to me?" So I treat them fairly. Of course the older brother is a boy, his fist is heavier; if it comes to a fight, the little sister loses. The little sister, when struck, is like a small bun being mashed; but the older brother, when he strikes, is like a hammer of iron. So that won't do. I will manage — manage with fairness.
Usually I exercise it this way: when the child is out of order or there is some kind of situation, at the appropriate time I call them before me. Sometimes I myself am still in the heat — and I know the moment I open my mouth I will breathe fire and burn someone — so I have to bear with myself for a moment. Sometimes I am very angry, and in the bedroom I first call out: "Oh, Lord Jesus! Lord!" Even so I cannot shout too loudly. In any case, I can shout at them a couple of times — and they know the wind has shifted, that things are not good, Daddy's about to manage — so they stand there not daring to move. And I walk... walk... slow... slow... slow...
Once I have calmed down, I ask them, "What happened?" — "Sister, you go first." Sister: "Eh! Eh! Brother — I went to borrow something, he wouldn't lend it to me; he said as soon as I touched it I'd break it." — "Brother, why didn't you lend it?" — "Because her tone was bad, as if my things must of course be lent to her, and that made me unhappy." — "Then why did you grab back?" — "She was the one who came to grab! She said, 'Mommy says, what is yours is mine,' so she came to grab. Because I was reading, I was unhappy." — "Then why did you hit her?" — "I wanted to grab back, and she hit me; she hit me, so I hit back — of course." "Did you hit harder?" — "Mm, I know." — "Sister, what about you? What about you?" Two — question, question, question, question — until we conclude: "Was that good or not? Not good." If you manage in the first ten minutes, both will resist; once they have settled down, the heat is gone, and you manage them again — both are submissive. After they have submitted, I lead them in prayer. Have them pray first — when they are done, I finish my correction with words that cherish: "Lord, thank You — our children love You; they are also Your beloved. Lord, thank You. Lord — they are willing to repent. Lord, Your love still fills them." Good — the matter is resolved; I see blessing.
But once I was very tense; for the older and the second had clashed again, and I managed the older one rather heavily. He stormed back to his bedroom, and I knew things were not right. Later, when he came out, I went into his room, lifted up his pillow — and discovered: he had ripped a very precious book to shreds. That was his way of letting it out; I knew right then that I dare not say further heavy things to him at this point — his fire was already at peak. So that time I was very careful: I came in only to ask, not to add any more correction; only to know that this was his way of letting out the resentment.
He has never done such a thing again — in my memory it is the only time. Honestly: they fear me, and I fear them. I fear that one of my reactions could cause them to stop loving the Lord; I fear that one of my displays of severity could cause them to leave the Lord. So in that handling I was extremely cautious; I believe I did not have a great loss. By the time that gesture came out, the Lord rather reminded me, "I cannot manage anymore." So I quieted down. Truly, I believe to this day I have not handled that matter again; I also believe he has had repentance before the Lord; he will adjust.
Sometimes one needs to manage; sometimes one cannot manage; sometimes one can only quiet oneself. Slowly I have come to feel: there is one thing I am most sure of — children have their living spirit, they have a managing spirit too; on the contrary, those who are too rigid in management, lose sight of his spirit and his life altogether. Of course I too have many, many failures, but I keep practicing — still practicing today — practicing how to be in the spirit, with treasuring deep within, in dealing with my own children. I also long fervently — that family by family, household by household, we may carry out the sweet treasuring of our children.
Question 2: How can we naturally draw a child into a self-initiated enjoyment of the Lord?
Answer. What is meant here, roughly, is this: every time a parent wants the child to pray-read with the Lord's word, or to memorize Scripture, the child tends to be passive. Please remember this point — the trait of the child is to be passive. If you long for every child to actively say, "Mommy, let's pray-read!" — there are not many such children under heaven. Most children are passive; as long as he can submit to your leading, that is fine. If you ask him to be full-time, equally active — well, he is full-time already. The child still needs gradually to be brought along — and over the years he will, of himself, naturally come to enjoy the Lord with you.
What is important is that if you yourself are the kind of person who, as soon as he pray-reads, easily exults — who very much enjoys the Lord — then upon the child you will have a positive influence. Remember: never, never, never one moment pray-read while the next moment you lose your temper. Sometimes, accompanying the child to pray-read, we pray-read in anger: "What kind of pray-reading is that? Try again — what kind of strength is that?" And the result is: two persons are dead in their place — one passive, one angry. When you have no strength, no breath, all the same: "Lord, thank You! Oh — Lord Jesus, You really are loving!" — and the child will change. To scold the child during pray-reading really is unjustifiable.
The child is not so thirsty in spiritual things — there is only one road: that you, in your home, often share a little of what is joyful, share a little of what you yourself thirst for; and the child will come to thirst. The worst thing is to bring out the Confucian-Mencian teaching — "You must come to the meeting! You must pray-read! You must pray! You must prophesy!" This is the teaching of old Confucius — and it does not work. The important thing is to draw — though that is not easy. You may say: "As soon as I see him, my fire rises." But try — when you speak of Christ, the fire does not come. Why has the fire risen at all? — because we have spoken too little of Christ. We discipline our children, but pardon me for saying it: most often, what we feel is not that he needs more Christ; rather, we feel his behavior is bad — that he is not sitting like one ought to sit, not standing like one ought to stand, not eating like he should eat, not reading like he should read. We are managing his civic-living code.
But you must know — what our children most need is Christ Himself. The civic-living code does need to be managed; but that is not the main point. What our child most needs is Christ Himself. In fact, in life, schoolwork takes up only a small portion; twenty years from now, no one will remember how you did on your school. Should we not be concerned for his schoolwork? — Yes! But if our child is genuinely drawn by the Lord, he will change. If he is willing to be earnest in the things turned toward the Lord, the Lord will surely remind him that in his schoolwork too he must rise to do his part. So we still believe — we need more and more to give Christ to our children.
— End of Message Five —